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To me, students are pains in the asses because they take me seriously. Being seen as someone who knows something doesn't work for me. I’d rather be known as someone who knows nothing. Speaking out like this is a risk. I may offend you or, worse yet, impress you. Even though I’m just trying to help, power has a will of its own that I can’t control. If you ever watched 'The Lord of the Rings,' you know what I mean. In my limited experience, few come to practice because their lives are going smoothly. We tend to gravitate toward meditation because we are vulnerable and looking for answers outside of ourselves. Most meditators crawled or fell into their routines. I nose-dived into mine. I was a mess.
"I help people who are suffering because I can relate to them. I made it through the neighborhood bullies, nearly four years as a grunt in the Marine Corps, twenty moves, several nights in jail, far more close calls with the law than I can count, divorce, dozens of failed relationships, I can’t tell you how many jobs, and a VA (Veteran’s Administration) outpatient substance abuse program. It’s exhausting and risky to talk about my past. I relive the trauma in my stomach, muscles and nervous system, and you might not trust me. That's OK. If even one person learns to trust themselves because of my openness, it is a risk well worth taking. I woke up trusting myself for good when I stopped running away from my problems and admitted I needed help."
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"My purpose is my function and identity. If I am taking out the trash, that’s who I am at that moment. I'm trash. When I meditate, I am nothing, but space. Now I write, so I am words. All living beings do something, and I'm just a doer, no different than any other. What I do is me. People come to me to learn how to stare at the wall. I don’t invite them. They invite themselves. Once we sit down face to face, they often say, “I want you to guide me, not just sit there silent.” “I put my hands like this, not your way.” “I keep my eyes closed, not open like yours.” “Why come to me? You already know everything.” I reply. My intention isn’t to belittle them. I mean it! Maybe they think I’m condescending and never come back. Then, I’m a worm off the hook, free to bury my head in the earth."


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